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I miss my dog

by Nina Ryser

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1.
I miss my dog My life is not the same My circadian rhythm is off My body is uncomfortable I'm disoriented The house is too big The rooms are too empty He was my shadow, always in the corner of my eye always in my periphery I miss the jingle of his collar from the other room the tapping of his toes on the floor No words, just presence and company His deep brown knowing eyes Look of acceptance, look of companionship a look of simple love Love with no language Reliable love Makes me feel present alive I wanna wrap my arms around his big hefty neck and breathe in through my nose to take in his warm earthy smell The smell of flowers animal sun dirt sleep grass wood dust rain skin mold soft pepper milk hair wind heat snow sweat
2.
Into the field we go Your world is in the grass down low The birds in the trees sing to you Your ears perk up and instinct follows you I know I can see your light I wanna grab onto it tight You're so beautiful in the sun Let's forget you're sick and try to have some fun
3.
4.
wait, slow down for me wait, slow down for me I am not ready to grieve wait, slow down for me stay a bit longer for me do you really have to leave? wait, slow down for me I don't know how to grieve wait, I know I'm not ready stay a bit longer for me don't know how to grieve
5.
In waves 03:00

about

These songs were written in the days leading up to and following the death of my dog Billy in October, after 6 months of battling very aggressive bone cancer. One of the most painful and tragic losses I've ever experienced. I recorded these songs really loosely and quickly while processing. Maybe it will speak to those who have been through a similar loss. Enjoy ~

Thank you Gabe Adels for playing clarinet on "Around the block" <3

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released November 3, 2023

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Nina Ryser Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

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