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You've Always Taken Charge

from Paths of Color by Nina Ryser

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lyrics

How did you take that pill with dignity?
I want you to have control of your body,
and yet I still cannot comprehend.
I'm sitting here scratching at my damn head
wondering how you had the courage to take poison, to resign.
It seems so unlike you.
But it did not surprise me when you said on the phone that you are your own god, and you even laughed.
I did not know that this could be a joke,
but that is your art. You've always taken charge.
You have always taken charge.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You’ve Always Taken Charge” is about the conversations my grandma Helen and I had in 2019 surrounding her decision to take aid-in-dying medication, also known as "assisted death" or DDMP2, which is only legal in 9 states with "Death With Dignity" laws -- a decision she arrived at after having endured multiple strokes, among many other health issues, that had drastically impeded her speech and motor skills, and ultimately her ability to continue her prolific life-long art practice.
These were difficult conversations to have; it was a difficult concept for me to grapple with.
However, there also was beauty and celebration in this decision -- Her desire to end her life in her own hands, on her own terms, was completely consistent with the ethos with which she led her life. Despite the obstacles and odds against her throughout her life, of which there were countless, she never compromised her free spirit and independence; she never compromised her path. She always took charge, each step of the way.

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from Paths of Color, released October 22, 2020

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Nina Ryser Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

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