1. |
Breathe Again
05:01
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Reaching out to the ones I love
my arms wide and yearning.
Gazing at the empty street
I fondly remember learning.
Holding a knot in my core seeded from unknowing.
Trying to keep it from growing and growing.
Holding me so sweetly
I forget all my regrets.
Holding me so sweetly
and I know I shouldn’t fret.
Hoping my friends don’t go out
so they can be well again.
Holding off from the time
so I can breathe again.
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2. |
Dancing in the Street
02:15
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"I have been meaning to write to you, but I was busy galavanting all over the place. Dancing, stripping, and streaking...now that this is the year of the women"
That's what you said to me in your letter
I live by it every day.
It may not have meant much to you
But to me, it's everything.
"I have been meaning to write to you, but I was busy galavanting all over the place. Dancing, stripping, and streaking...now that this is the year of the women"
I am the tiny bird in your pictures
The music is in your paint.
I am trying to follow your path of color, as you turn to me and say:
"LET THERE BE DANCING IN THE STREET AT ALL TIMES OF NIGHT AND DAY!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All the lyrics quoted in “Dancing in the Street” are directly from an email I received from my grandma Helen in March, 2018.
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3. |
Know Me Like You Do
04:02
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What do you wanna look at me like that for?
What do you wanna look at me like that for?
I know that look.
What do you wanna touch me like that for?
What do you wanna touch me like that for?
I know that touch.
What do you wanna say to me right now?
What do you wanna say to me right now?
I know those words.
I wanna know what you're thinking about.
I wanna know what you're thinking about.
I know those thoughts.
What do you wanna lean on me like that for?
What do you wanna lean on me like that for?
I can lean on you.
What do you feel when I put my arms around you?
What do you feel when I put my arms around you?
You hold me too.
I'm watching you like I've never seen you before.
I'm watching you like I've never seen you before.
You are brand new.
What do you wanna work it out with me for?
What do you wanna work it out with me for?
I want that too.
Why do you wanna know me like you do?
Why do you wanna know me like you do?
I want to know you.
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4. |
Premonition 1
01:53
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Both "Premonition 1" and "Premonition 2" are variations of a melody I heard in a dream. In the dream, the melody came to me as a sort of premonition; once I heard this melody I somehow immediately knew that my cat, who was very old and sick at the time, would die the next day. I woke up from the dream crying & with this melody stuck in my head, and sure enough, my beloved Corn passed away that day.
My friend Matt Norman, who laid down the horn parts on these tracks, really helped bring this melody to fruition just from hearing groggy voice memos I recorded the morning I woke up from the dream. So, thanks Matt!
And here's to all the special kitties out there.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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5. |
Shelf the Trophy
02:36
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Sometimes you know when you're wrong, and you know you won't admit it.
You hope no one will find out so don't you give yourself away!
You think you're a sly fox until they call you on your shit.
So, you swallow your ego, and it's just another day.
Pride, disappear today
Pride, disappear tomorrow
Just go back to where you belong
You're just a kid and you don't mean anything by it.
I know I can't admit my faults to you,
or to anyone who wants them.
I want to roll around in the mess I made and never clean it.
Let me cheer myself on, let me shelf the trophy I deserve.
Oh, I never knew this was so hard!
Pride, disappear today
Pride, disappear tomorrow
Just go back to where you belong
You're just a kid and you don't mean anything by it.
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6. |
Grass
02:36
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7. |
Close My Eyes
03:52
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When I can't sleep I hate myself the next day
I don't treat you well, I know it
But what else can I say?
What a way to be
I'm watching over me.
I hope that you can forgive me, and tell me it's ok.
My brain is a force that betrays me
an excuse during the day.
And come nightfall, I see the spirits mocking me from the street.
What a way to be
I'm watching over me.
I want to find a way to restart my mind
I'll climb up into the sky with the grip of a vine
And once I'm there, I will close my eyes
What a way to be
I'm watching over me.
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8. |
Billy Boy
01:30
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Billy Boy, you are the best doggy
I have ever known or seen.
You are such wonderful company,
You really bring out the best in me.
How on earth did I get so lucky?
When you try to bite my jugular
I know it's your way of loving her.
I just hope you never bite too hard,
or else I will die in your arms.
And maybe that wouldn't be so bad,
for all I know, our love's the purest I've had.
So let me die in your arms tonight
and you can have my neck without a fight.
Billy Boy
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9. |
Premonition 2
02:51
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Both "Premonition 1" and "Premonition 2" are variations of a melody I heard in a dream. In the dream, the melody came to me as a sort of premonition; once I heard this melody I somehow immediately knew that my cat, who was very old and sick at the time, would die the next day. I woke up from the dream crying & with this melody stuck in my head, and sure enough, my beloved Corn passed away that day.
My friend Matt Norman, who laid down the horn parts on these tracks, really helped bring this melody to fruition just from hearing groggy voice memos I recorded the morning I woke up from the dream. So, thanks Matt!
And here's to all the special kitties out there.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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10. |
||||
How did you take that pill with dignity?
I want you to have control of your body,
and yet I still cannot comprehend.
I'm sitting here scratching at my damn head
wondering how you had the courage to take poison, to resign.
It seems so unlike you.
But it did not surprise me when you said on the phone that you are your own god, and you even laughed.
I did not know that this could be a joke,
but that is your art. You've always taken charge.
You have always taken charge.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“You’ve Always Taken Charge” is about the conversations my grandma Helen and I had in 2019 surrounding her decision to take aid-in-dying medication, also known as "assisted death" or DDMP2, which is only legal in 9 states with "Death With Dignity" laws -- a decision she arrived at after having endured multiple strokes, among many other health issues, that had drastically impeded her speech and motor skills, and ultimately her ability to continue her prolific life-long art practice.
These were difficult conversations to have; it was a difficult concept for me to grapple with.
However, there also was beauty and celebration in this decision -- Her desire to end her life in her own hands, on her own terms, was completely consistent with the ethos with which she led her life. Despite the obstacles and odds against her throughout her life, of which there were countless, she never compromised her free spirit and independence; she never compromised her path. She always took charge, each step of the way.
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11. |
Playground From Memory
02:15
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In the driveway, you showed them all
You replaced the bumper of your car all by yourself
the whole choir sung out their melodies of doubt.
They did not take you as the type who sees it through,
now they're begging for rides.
Building you and building me into the playground from memory.
The choice is yours
you know I'm on board
The choice is yours
Today I saw you scooping out the seeds
You put the trash in the earth and you ate all the weeds.
And when the sunlight began to burn your face, all your little minions cleaned up any trace
that you may have left of the mess you made.
You know you are revealed but they love you anyway.
Building you and building me to see
the free playground from memory.
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12. |
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